And I’ll wear that title proudly for the moment!
Why am I a whimp?
Well, let me add that my younger two children, Cactus Conor and Opulent Orion, are sharing this title with me.
You see, I made Beef & Bean Burritos tonight for dinner.
I made homemade refried beans, taco style meat, stuffed neatly into a tortilla and baked…yum. Tonight I felt like I wanted some hot sauce.
Now, let me define hot sauce here: I am not referring to the stuff that makes you cry, your nose run, and sends you running for an ice cube! I’m talking the stuff that just gently brings a tinge of spice to your mouth, enhancing the otherwise delicate flavors of Mexican food (a household favorite).
We were deceived.
By this little, innocuous bottle.
Well, it is evil. It is deceptive. It’s sweet, colorful Macaw on the label, inviting you to just put a splash or two on your meal. It tells you it will enhance your meal.
What it will do is send one adult woman to the refrigerator for sour cream…only to discover that the sour cream is not going to help you like it has in the past. The lying Macaw is too powerful. Too overwhelming. What to do? Your nose is running. Your eye’s are tearing. Your mouth is burning.
And all while this is happening, my youngest, who before I tried a taste of this manipulative condiment, informed me that I was too “girly” for this stuff, has put some on his burrito.
And what happens?
Hahaha…don’t pick on the Mama.
He goes running for an ice cube!
Now, to my Opulent’s credit, he would drink Tabasco sauce straight out of the bottle if I let him…but tonight, even he was duped.
My Cactus, God bless that boy, “well, I’m not going to be silly enough to put it ON my burrito. I’ll just put it next to it.” Bwahaha…he went running for a plain flour tortilla.
Now, when you have a household of boys, sometimes things just get shall we say a bit crude, and we were warning each other not to stand near an open flame! Of course, this was proceeded by my, what I thought was seemingly harmless, comment that this stuff would “burn your britches!” ~ Yes, I have learned my lesson.
But if that wasn’t enough, my brave cactus decides he is going to rub his fork all through the hot sauce still on his plate…
and put the fork in his mouth.
I’m still laughing at the memory of him running into the kitchen, filling his mouth with icy cold water, and when I asked if he was okay, responded, “let me be, I’m cooling my mouth”, and proceeded to stuff another tortilla in is mouth.
Let this story be a lesson…no, a warning to you all…the pretty, little Macaw lies! Turn your eyes away. Do not fall for it’s sweet stories. Turn and run for the hills!